If I'm lyin', I'm buyin'

It’s about time for some more self-evident truths: (1) Too many young people have been told how great they are, even when they aren’t. (2) You can’t top shrimp. Ever. (3) My car has never gotten the estimated EPA mileage numbers listed on the sticker.

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Have you ever noticed? … Forbidden fruit can create a lot of different types of jams.

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The gospel, according to … Here’s some sound advice from a recent “Get to the Point” e-mail on advertising “dos and don’ts”:

How often do you come across an advertisement with a limited-time offer that has already expired? Or a seasonal offer still lingering after the holiday has passed?

Like any public goof, you’re probably just grateful it wasn’t your screw-up. But it could be — and that’s why Susan Gunelius of the MarketingBlurb blog says it’s important to stay on top of your various campaigns.

An obviously outdated ad does more than embarrass your company; it can permanently change the way people think of your company, brand or product. After all, if you don’t pay attention to your marketing, what other details do you gloss over? “Even if the ad works and catches a person’s attention,” she says, “the negative effect of the expired offer is enough to turn that person off of the advertised product completely.”

To demonstrate, she provides an example she came across online in early January. The ad is from a prestigious automaker and reads “Now’s the time to bring one home for the holidays.” There is a link with the ad that takes to you to a local dealership, where you see yet another version of the expired ad prominently displayed on the dealer’s homepage. Simply put, Gunelius says, “An outdated ad or promotion does not drive sales.”

The Po!nt: “Make sure your copy and ad placement are timely and don’t have a chance to become outdated,” writes Gunelius. “Or else you’ll risk negating your ad’s effectiveness and throwing your ad dollars out the window.”

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Texas A&M, maybe, but here? … The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.  

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Gillette Player of the game … This month, we pay tribute to Connie Henderson, owner of a new company, Amber’s Farms. Connie ran me down at a trade show over the summer, waxing enthusiastically about her company’s gardening products for children. She said she still had some bases to touch before launching and asked for some advice.

Long story short: Her products are ready to sell (we’ll spotlight one next month), and they are because of Connie’s go-get-’em attitude. We love those people who realize that “can’t never could.” In fact, we’re noting one today.

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Tools of the trade … A redneck walks into a hardware store and asks for a chain saw that will cut six trees in one hour. The salesman recommends the top of the line model. The redneck is suitably impressed, and decides to buy it.

The next day he brings it back and says, “This chainsaw is defective. It would only cut down one tree and it took the whole stinking day to do it!”

The salesman takes the chain saw and starts it up to see what’s wrong.

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The redneck asks, “What’s that noise?”

- Yale Youngblood

March 2008